relucant to re-boot

yes it's been a bit quite around here, i've not felt like posting anything for a while. i s'pose that it's the triathlon related nature of this space which puts it into the catagory of things that i've been avoiding for the last few weeks whilst i concentrate on getting unfit and letting go of the 2008 season. I've not been logging the light exercise that i've undertaken during this period, measured my weight or monitored my morning heart rate.

not to say that i've not been thinking tri. there has been considerabe analysis of the year past and even more directed towrd the year(s) ahead. funds have been sent to Ironman for teh privalage of racing Ironman newzealand ( march 2009), ironman lanzarote ( may 2009) and the biggie ...ironman Hawaii (oct 2009). Race goals and training objectives drawn up in complicated spreadsheets over cans of lager and junk TV. all looks very impressive...and now the time has come to start the campaign towrads these fabulous results.

but you know what? i don't really feel like it. i'm really enjoying the sessions that i'm doing, and executing them far better than i'd expect given the fitness that i've lost since Wisconsin - i suspect due to not being tired! however, my motivation to do the session is very low. in fact i'm finding that i'm lacking motivation for most things, except for science fiction. hmmm. of course i'm slightly frustrated about not being on a certain polynesian island right now (the one who's name must NOT be uttered in my presence), and maybe just a bit S.A.D.

i suppose it's time to confess to being maybe a bit more than a BIT sad. i'm an obsessed triathlete, there's no doubt and the last three weeks have really brought this realization home. without the fug of fatigue or the whirr of rushing from training to work, from work to training, training to bed; without the preoccupation with distribution of kit between home/office/stevens/laundry and calorie intake with the correct nutrients in the correct proportions...i find myself seeking distraction, and failing to find anything that quite fills this void - i'm actaully a bit bored.

so why this reluctance to get stuck in and on with it? on the one hand it's the knowing that fairly soon i'll be back in the routine that leaves no room for anything much else in my life, on the other there's the fear that there is no longer much else in my life..and a sense that perhaps i ought to invest some time in re-establishing the neglected social networks and cultural connections.

or it could be that its just fucking cold and dark out there ;o)